For those newcomers to the club , this award is in honour of the distinguished Mr . Robert Nabb who once uttered in a press conference announcing the dates for Catholic High Basket ball tournament that

Because Christmas is early this year ….. !!!!!!

Given that i detest referring to the game of football/footy or fitba as soccer or sokka but have to for the general population here and in the US here are some awards from this year’s World Cup courtesy of the Guardian newspaper:

The Oh My God, Are We Really Going to Listen To This For An Entire Month Award

goes to … the ABC/ESPN commentary team who, like sprinting street drunks gate-crashing the start of a marathon, stood up and roared like overly sexually excited grizzly bears for the entirety of the opening game between Germany and Costa Rica. Mostly with stuff like (and this is an actual quote from a later game): Teams scoring first have a lopsided winning percentage of 27-5-5.

The First Ever 500,000 Ex-Pat English Folk Simultaneously Shrieking in Disbelief Award goes to … ABC/ESPN for obscuring England’s first World Cup goal with an on-screen message informing us that Disney’s Lilo & Stitch would be shown at a later date.

Scariest Foreign Alternative to ABC/ESPN goes to … German TV. Zeitung [37 second pause] Stickleback [45 second pause] Schmetterling [90 second pause]. And so on.

Runners-up … are the Univision Spanish language channel whose bog-eyed, hyperbabbling speed-freak super-commentators screamed like they were injecting each other in the eyeballs with rocket fuel, making the US commentators sound like baby shrews performing the gentler hits of Belle and Sebastian on muted tin xylophones.

The Best We’re Not-in-Islington-Now-Toto Moment Award goes to … ABC/ESPN for explaining that Ecuador are the Denver Broncos of world soccer.

This beat out literally hundreds of other entries, including: If this was basketball, it’d be like Shaq vs. Kobe, Trinidad & Tobago – The George Mason of the World Cup; Is he going to use the driver or the pitching wedge?; Wayne Rooney is a little bit like an American linebacker; Nakata is the Terrell Owens of this Japanese team; and Australia don’t have many men on the end line

Best Bite-sized US Style Soccerography Lesson Award goes to … ABC/ESPN for repeatedly confusing Sweden/Switzerland and Austria/Australia. No, really. And to baseball expert and self-confessed soccer know-nothing Dave O’Brien for Costa Rica, a country located in Central America, bordered by Nicaragua to the north and Panama to the south …

Best ABC/ESPN Commentator Named After a Famously Incontinent Canine Blue Peter Presenter … goes to former New York Cosmos goalie and Playgirl model Shep Messing. Get down, etc.

Most Exciting ABC/ESPN World Cup Superfactoid … Christina Aguilera’s father comes from Ecuador

The First Annual Nation Shall Speak Unto NationAward for Explaining Peter Crouch in Terms Easily Understood by Ordinary Americans goes to … ABC/ESPNs Dave O’Brien for: He’s tall. Like a skyscraper.

Best Crazy New American Words Gary Lineker Will Be Using In A Year Award goes to … ABC/ESPN for teamship, hip shot, gamebreaker, difference-maker and – my fave – race horse soccer
The First Annual Award For Best Use Of The Word roundier… goes to ABC/ESPN’s resident Irishman Tommy Smyth: I was always under the impression that the ball was round. But this ball is apparently roundier. If that’s the word. Technology – where will it end?

The Worstest Soccer Commentator Ever Award … goes to ABC/ESPNs Marcelo Balboa for starting every single freaking sentence with You know what? and his relentless excusing of every single bit of diving, cheating and time-wasting as part of the game. Never has the Wells TV screen come so close to being booted in so many times.

The Players to Watch in 2007 Award … goes to ABC/ESPN for (deep breath) Michael Beckham, Michael Beckett, Chelsea’s Steve Girrard (sic), Christian (sic) Ronaldo, Freddie Loonberg (sic), best keeper in the world Casey Keller and all the boys at Wolverhampton Wolves and Glasgow United.

Best Ever Totally Awesome ABC/ESPN Quote Award … (after a David Beckham free-kick): That gives a whole new meaning to Bend it like Beckham, folks – Brent Musberger.

Runners-up: I’m not understanding the philosophy behind sitting behind the ball
– Marcelo Balboa.
It’s a turnover sport – Eric Wynalda.

Have to love a guy who paints his face for the World Cup, though. Look at him. Nice- Shep Messing.

Who has the man advantage? It’s hard to tell – Tommy Smyth. Er, well it’s nobody at the moment, it’s 10 a piece- Adrian Healey.

Holland are playing a 4-4-2, but with three forwards – JP Dellacamera.

Of the many things Ronaldinho is, he’s a traffic cop too – Dave O’Brien.
This is the World Cup! This is why you need a computer chip in the ball. It’s like if you’re watching the World Series, it’s only inches between a strike and a ball … – Dave O’Brien.
Germany retains possession- Dave O’Brien (during England v Paraguay).
Paraguay captain Delio Toledo called Michael Beckham a coward this week- Dave O’Brien.
If Costa Rica pulls this game back to tie, it will be one of the greatest victories in the history of the World Cup – Dave O’Brien.