James ‘Five Fingers’ Ignatovich shot to GBFL glory on Sunday with a five goal haul against a plucky Chelsea team . Five Fingers rewrote the history books with his heroic efforts to join fellow legendary striker ( now stopper as he is too slow now) Ghassan Haddad as the highest goalscorer in a single game in GBFL history , ever !

Fingers’ efforts were all brilliantly taken from way inside the 6 yard box and his performance helped his team turn round a one goal deficit as the Haitian team shocked Freeport FC by taking the lead. Freeport came back with a vengence however to strike 3 times in the first half amid pouring rain with goals from Five Fingers (2) and Stefano ‘Red Bull’ Borsetto . That was only a prelude to the second half as continued great front running from Jerone Cocker led to 3 further goals from the big man James in a style reminiscent of all time great Wednesday fatbloke David Hirst. Cocker , playing his last game befoe he jets out to Jamaica for ‘business reasons’ , topped off the scoring with a fine solo effort as Freeport romper to a 7 :2 victory. Aside from James 5 goal haul , highlights of the game belonged to Cabin Boy – sorry could not resist that one !! Actually best part of the game was when Justin (attempting an audacious 30 yard through pass) stubbed his foot into the ground in a move previously thought to belong solely to Tony Johns ! After 10 seconds of unrestrained laughter and guffawing everyone actually relaised that Captain My Captain was actually pretty hurt and – even worse- the Haitians nearly scored. Oh how we all laughed afterwards.

Not by any way seeking to capitalise on his performance , James Ignatovich took time after the game to announce the family’s new boot cleaning service ( see previous post). Rumours that he has also signed deals with the website GaychoirBoysR_us .com and Anusol are still to be confirmed.